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They’re Just Being a Teenager… Right?
Eye rolls, closed doors, and one-word answers are normal teen behavior. But sometimes what looks like typical moodiness is a sign your teen is struggling. The challenge is knowing the difference.
“I think we tend to say, oh, they’re just being a teenager,” says Gia Seutter, LCSW, behavioral health integration program manager at Sky Lakes Medical Center. “There is a disconnect between what is the norm and what are warning signs.”
Seutter says the key is to watch for three things: intensity, duration, and impact. Is their bad mood unusually intense? Has it lasted two weeks or more? Is it affecting daily life? If you’re nodding yes, take a closer look.
Warning Signs to Watch For
Risky behavior, skipping school, and substance use are clear signs something is off. But other warning signs are easier to overlook.
Watch for changes like:
- Falling grades or lost interest in favorite activities
- Pulling away from family and lashing out when you reach out
- Frequent headaches or stomachaches — genuine physical symptoms of stress
- Sleep or appetite changes
- Slipping hygiene in a teen who used to care about their appearance
Teens may also say things like “I hate my life” or “I wish I weren’t here.” Don’t ignore these comments. And don’t worry that asking about them will plant bad ideas. “That’s a myth,” Seutter says. “Research has shown that talking about suicide doesn’t make somebody think about it.”
The Social Media Factor
Social media has made teen mental health more complicated. Seutter says the nonstop stream of images and comparisons teens absorb online can be damaging, especially without adult supervision. “You’ve got a teenager who’s down, didn’t get asked to prom, is thinking she’s overweight, and all these skinny people saying things,” Seutter says.
Teen brains simply aren’t developed enough to process everything social media throws at them. Keeping tabs on what they see online — and talking about it — matters more than parents realize.
How to Start the Conversation
You don’t need a perfect script. Seutter says the best approach is often just being real. Try something like: “Hey, I’ve noticed you seem a little down. What’s going on?” The more you have these open conversations, the more your teen will trust you with the hard stuff.
And if your teen isn’t opening up to you, that’s OK. Someone else can sometimes get through more easily. “Maybe there’s a mentor or a coach or a friend’s parent,” Seutter says. Leaning on your support network isn’t a sign of failure; it’s smart parenting.
When to Get Professional Help
If you’re seeing a shift in your teen’s behavior, grades, or health, don’t wait. Start with your teen’s primary care provider, who can screen for behavioral health concerns and connect you with resources. From there, a counselor or therapist is a great next step. Schools are more connected to mental health support than ever, and your faith community can help too if that fits your family.
Most importantly, know that you’re not alone. “There is help, there is support,” Seutter says. “It’s just a matter of taking that step.”
In a Crisis
If your teen may be thinking about suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7. If your teen is in immediate danger, call 911.
